It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see. Henry David Thoreau
It’s OK to admit: Sometimes carefully-curated Instagram and Facebook posts fill us with envy. Why can’t our homes, vacations, or wardrobes look like the ones we see online? But we can be doing real harm to ourselves when we let this envy creep in. A study by the American Psychological Association found that comparing ourselves to others via social media can lead to depression and rumination.
Conversely, there is gratitude. The opposite of envy, gratitude can be the antidote to a society that continually pushes us to crave all that is just out of reach. When we appreciate what we have and where we are right now, we can live more fully in that moment.
Mindfulness is the first step toward gratitude. At Mindfulness Strategies, we define mindfulness as “being fully cognizant of yourself (both mentally and physically), your environment, and the present moment.” Being mindful allows us to acknowledge our emotions without judgment. Only then can we move on from those thoughts. When we reduce our anxiety, we make space for positivity.
As Henry David Thoreau once said, “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” And, we can’t be grateful for what we can’t see in our mind’s eye. So practicing mindfulness creates room for gratitude, and being thankful for all we have right now allows us to center ourselves.
Here are four ways practicing gratitude can improve your well-being.
Let Go Of Negativity
Everyone experiences sadness and disappointment. What we do with those feelings, however, is pivotal to our mental health.
In their book Mindfulness, an Eight-week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World, Oxford professor Mark Williams and journalist Danny Penman say it’s not sadness that damages our mental health, but rather the frustration with which we react to the pain that actually hurts us. Feeling sad makes us frustrated, which makes us sad, which makes us frustrated, and our minds begin a feedback loop of harmful emotions because we don’t process them but rather shift them back and forth.
To end this ouroboros of negativity, we need to stop reacting to uncomfortable feelings by becoming upset. Instead, we can accept the emotion without judging it. “Once you’ve felt them— that is, acknowledged their existence—and let go of the tendency to explain or get rid of them, they are much more likely to vanish naturally, like the mist on a spring morning” (Williams and Penman, 2011). You can recognize an emotion without dwelling on it.
So the next time you feel irritated, disgruntled, or sad, take a deep breath. Take the time to receive the emotion but do so without getting frustrated at yourself or numbing the sensation. The negative feelings will dissipate, and you’ll be able to move on with your day.
2. Improve Sleep Quality
Research from the Journal of Psychosomatic Research found that feeling grateful improves peoples’ sleep quality and helps them sleep longer. Try to avoid ruminating before bed and instead focus on the good things in your life.
The Centers For Disease Control says a chronic lack of sleep is associated with diabetes, heart disease, obesity, and depression. They provided the following tips for better sleep:
Go to bed and rise at the same time daily, even on weekends
Keep your bedroom quiet, dark, relaxing, and at a comfortable temperature
Remove electronic devices from your bedroom, such as TVs, computers, tablets, and smartphones
Avoid large meals, caffeine, and alcohol before bed
Avoid tobacco and nicotine altogether
Get some exercise
If sleeping well is an issue for you, also try jotting down three things you’re thankful for before heading to bed. The simple act of writing them helps you acknowledge their very real presence in your life.
3. Improve Your Health
The American Psychological Association studied 186 men and women who had asymptomatic (Stage B) heart failure. Stage B patients have structural heart disease but don’t yet show symptoms of heart failure, e.g., shortness of breath or fatigue. The lead author, Paul J Mills, Ph.D., said Stage B is a critical therapeutic window for stopping heart disease before it continues to Stage C, where the risk of death is five times higher.
Researchers used standard psychological tests to score patients for gratitude. According to the study, patients who were more thankful had:
Lower levels of depression
Better sleep
Less fatigue
Higher self-efficacy
Researchers asked some of the patients to write down three aspects of their life they were thankful for most days of the week for eight weeks. The patients who kept gratitude journals showed lower levels of inflammation, which can worsen heart failure.
“It seems that a more grateful heart is indeed a more healthy heart,” Mills said, “and that gratitude journaling is an easy way to support cardiac health.” Being mindful does more than just improve your mental health; it directly impacts your physical wellbeing.
4. Strengthen Your Romantic Relationship
Expressing gratitude towards your partner can strengthen your bond as a couple and improve overall satisfaction, according to a study in the Journal of Theoretical Social Psychology. The authors went so far as to say it can act as a “booster shot” for the relationship.
Another study found that people who feel more appreciated by their partners, in turn, become more thankful themselves. This gratitude leads to them being more responsive to their partners’ needs and more committed to the relationship. Over time, the study said, these couples are more likely to stay together. Of course, you may not have or want a partner. It’s OK to love yourself and appreciate the ways you take care of yourself.
Choose Mindfulness and Gratitude to Improve Your Life
Feeling thankful sharpens our focus on everything positive and sacred in our lives. When you feel stress, it’s hard to see past your problems. When your attention clears because you’re choosing mindfulness, it’s easier to appreciate what’s going well.
Gratitude counteracts our desire to control everything. When we relinquish that grip and accept what is, we’re open to the beauty all around us.
Social media is not going away. When used properly, it can provide valuable information and even inspire us. However, using it mindfully requires thoughtfulness, practice, and diligence.
Cultivating thankfulness changes our outlook on life. A small change, such as starting a gratitude journal, can provide a refreshing perspective. If you're interested in learning more about how to choose mindfulness in your everyday life, contact Mindfulness Strategies today.